Author: Erica

I was raised by a stay-at-home mom. I had all the wonderful opportunities one gets from that experience.

My kids have each been in some sort of daycare and/or school aftercare since they were infants.

I both love my work, and have never felt great about this.☝️

Aftercare was for kids whose parents can’t get them due to work requirements, according to me.

What did that mean about me when I finally had a flex schedule yet chose to keep them in? ?

As a kid, I felt bad for the aftercare kids.

As an adult, once the clock hit 2:40, I felt guilt.

But as I picked apart the facts, I realized I had made it all up! ?

What I hadn’t considered, is any good that could come.

Imaginative play, a new crew of friends and trusted adults…

Most importantly, a parent who had a chance to complete their workday and could now be fully present with my kids.✨

Peacefully posting this at 2:40 p.m. ?

Life lately has been WILD.

We moved cross-country and grew our family, and now I’m in the “savasana” period where all the growth is happening?, I feel like a teenager. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Learn to feel peace in the journey; ☮️

No checkpoint or finish line will eliminate all of your problems.

Routine aligns expectations/ reality and reduces anxiety. For all.?

Choosing to break routine is worth it for once-in-a-lifetime moments.

Sand will always be in the tub; ?

It represents this life we’re choosing – messy, and oh, so worth it.

Simplifying physical items and spaces simplifies the mind.

People ground people.

Alignment with your partner is the answer every time.

Amazon can deliver quick fixes all day, but the hard stuff, that’s all on you. ?

Lean in to your “no questions asked” relationships; and, get yourself to a place where you can reciprocate. <–what life is all about)

The kids need to work it out themselves. ?

You are your kids’ favorite toy in the whole wide world.

When dysregulated in parenting, tune in to self first.

You are not in charge of your partner’s emotions.

Make choices, not decisions. (Google it!)

Hard decision, easy life. Easy decision, hard life. (credit: @emechlinski)

Don’t keep score.⛔

Be kind, not nice.

Lead with love.?

Are you actively listening? Seems simple – be present, interested, appropriately responsive. As we work on the next season of WMH, our podcast editor @stefwenninger mentioned listeners can tell when hosts move too quickly to the next question and don’t engage in a guest’s response. And we are reflecting on how we’ve shown up.

It is easier said than done. A host juggles multiple factors during a recording at once: nerves, timing, the guest’s needs, listener needs, shit – unstable internet connection, “does my neighbor need to cut that tree down right now?!” The paranoia of, “I’ve said too much, maybe too little…”

Sure, sticking to the plan keeps the anxiety at bay, but over-managing external factors can result in missing the gold we’re mining for in the first place. When control (and fear) takes over, it’s taking away from the guest – and ultimately listeners – being seen, heard and understood.

Apply this concept to our lives and interactions with kids, clients, colleagues, family, strangers on the street…what magic could happen by focusing on active listening vs. our response or external distractions?

We are ready to give ourselves, our guests and listeners the gift of our presence and active listening as best we can. The result may be more vulnerable and raw reactions, laughs and emotions than we’ve ever shared with the world…WHEW. Here we go.

Thanks for making the space for us each week in your ear holes.? And we’re always open to hearing your feedback. It helps us to be better.

I cried today on a work call. They were tears of gratitude for my colleagues who encouraged me to enjoy a day at the zoo with my kids while they managed our clients’ needs.

I let the guilt of missing meetings and the FOMO from watching our slack channels ping subside. I gave my phone to my kids to document the day. I took a deep breath and found myself in rare “mom flow.” I was present, playful, and patient.

Joe commented it was one of his favorite days observing me as a mother. My kids felt it too. There was minimal fighting or complaining as we walked miles in the hot sun. We laughed – a lot.

All of this to say, work is personal. Very personal. It’s important to have people on your team who get that. And maybe even cry with you when you thank them for having your back and gifting you a day with your kids filled with core memories.

Every time my kids hit a new phase of development, I find myself saying, “Oh, this one is my favorite. I want to stay here.” Then comes the inevitable next one, and it too is my favorite phase. 

Each phase has brought something new into our lives. From newborn cuddles and baby belly laughs to the firsts and testing independence. We are now solidly in the preteen phase. Also, my new favorite. 

I’ve learned some things will start, some will evolve and some will stop. It used to take what felt like hours to get them to sleep. We’d bathe, snuggle and rock them while singing Twinkle Twinkle and Good Ship Lollipop over and over again. I don’t ever want to forget how their little voices would plead, “One more, Mommy. Just one more.” Back then though, “one more” felt like being told by your track coach that you still had four more laps to go when you thought practice was over. 

Now, my hours-long lullaby concert has evolved to the occasional request for 1 or 2 songs when they are in the mood. When they ask, it makes my heart sing. One day, they’ll stop asking entirely. Maybe some of my lullabies will make it into my grandkids’ nurseries. 

Each phase hasn’t been perfect. They’ve taught us varying degrees of survival skills, perhaps to prepare us for the next phase – the teen years. I get a lot of “just you wait” about this upcoming phase and I know it won’t be easy. None of the phases have been. 

But, historical data points to the next phase being my favorite.