I blinked and somehow turned 40, have been raising kids for more than a decade, and celebrated 14 years of marriage. It hit me hard how much time I spent in my first 40 years focusing on things that brought me down, like what people thought of me or am I doing/being enough. Too much of my time went to caring about people and things that didn’t serve me in return.
I reality checked the guilt that came with that examination of how and where I spent my time. Instead of wallowing, I felt a surprising sense of accomplishment. I was proud of how far I’ve come and who I’ve become. I was proud of my self-awareness.
If I’m lucky, I have another good 40 years in me and I am now committed to them differently, approaching them with grace and a selective pursuit of happiness.