Ask for what YOU know you deserve, not what they think you’re worth

We’ve heard from a lot of listeners who were inspired by our recent interview, “Stop Devaluing Yourself,” with Veronica Cool. She’s an inspiration for me, as well.

**Adapted from the Transcript**

We are not taught to advocate for ourselves in the same way that boys are taught to advocate for themselves. I’m seeing it with my daughter. We’ll go get our nails done. I’ll sit there and I’ll hate it, and at the end, I’ll say, “this is great.” And my daughter will direct them, “nope, you missed a part here, you need to do this, you need to do that.” At 12.

And part of me is like, “oh my gosh, where did you learn how to do that?” And the other part of me is like, “I just learned from you how to ask for what I want.”

When I would babysit as a teenager, I didn’t know how to ask for compensation for my time. I was taught, “tell them, pay me what you think I deserve.”

I carried that until I met my husband. I remember he was helping me get ready for an annual review. And he asked, “what are you gonna ask for your salary?”

I confidently told him, “well, I always say pay me what you think I’m worth.”

He was in shock, “are you f’ing kidding me? You can’t say that!”

And then I figured out I was making about 30 grand less than some of my male counterparts because I believed my boss would actually pay me what I was worth. Instead, I was a deal.

And while I’m much more aware of my worth now, I am still afflicted by that mindset at times.

May we continue to remind each other and ourselves of our worth. Pay your friends for their services. Budget for any vendor you solicit. And ask for what YOU know you deserve, not what they think you’re worth ❤️. ~Erica

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